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On "Why The V-Cast Musical Phone Commercials SUCK."

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This entry was posted on 3/14/2007 9:35 PM and is filed under Advertising, Humor.

So have you all seen the ads touting the V-Cast phone? There are two I've had the horror of witnessing thus far, and I fear this is the actual campaign, a multiple-spot onslaught.

Here's the basic plot of each:
Young guy (either a jock in a gym or a vaguely clubby/gay 'twink,') approaches the camera (you.)
The young guy talks up some great tune he's listening to on his V-Cast phone, using headphones.
He then takes off the headphones and 'puts them on you,' so you can enjoy the song for a few moments.
Just then, interrupting the glorious music, we hear a ring.
Our friend sees he has a call, and takes off the headphones, on to make merry elsewhere.

OK, let's break it down. The basic conceit here is that once you get this V-Cast phone, you can listen to music. That's the easy task, no? They could have shown the phone with earplugs atop a pile of records. Or shown it containing a little mini-concert in your brain. They could have done a series of ads demonstrating the joy of the personal MP3-playing phone through the lens of 'sound tracking your life.'

However, from a marketing standpoint, this is a simply explained product, so I'm not rewarding basic competence. I mean, it's a phone that plays music. They're not selling a service plan, or an erection pill using a cornucopia of euphemisms. Or an electronically-controlled, continuously variable transmission. 'Hey, this phone plays music' pretty much sums it up.

So why is the V-Cast phone campaign exceedingly bad? After all, if you want a phone that plays music, now you know who makes one.

It's all in the details. In the first place, the commercial ignores a truism of the iPod Generation: musical solitude. Now, I've been to a few social gatherings where the host whipped out their iPod and 'sound tracked the party,' but on the street and in the gym, MP3 players are used solo.

This is not merely a critical brain on hyper drive. Look around at how personal music players have added an invisible wall, another layer of personal space. If we could see it, like glass in the car, I'm certain we'd all be digging for treasure in broad daylight. iPods are personal.

So the commercial campaign breaks a cardinal rule of marketing: all bullshit must be founded in truth. People use MP3 players in public places to avoid interaction, not encourage it. Let me tell you: if I'm at line at Whole Foods, please don't approach me with your cool song on your V-Cast phone, and I'll try to afford you the same consideration with my iPod. Seriously. Leave me alone.

But that's not the part that gets me. These ads have a little bit of an 'ick' factor. The first one features a sweaty jock in a gym. The second, a friend dancing outside in the middle of the street. In theory, they remove the headphones and put them on you.

Really? I'm sorry...am I the only one who finds that utterly rancid?

Now, I may forgive the latter ad, but only if I make the dancing queen a good friend of mine, or a close familial relation. But the former?

Ewwww.

Ears sweat, you know? Onto headphones. You know what else transfers from ear to speaker? It ain't beeswax.

Ewwww.

So thanks to V-Cast, I bought a new pair of headphones for my iPod, so I could still listen to music in my personal manner...as I now boil my ear buds daily.

I suppose the campaign is good in one way: it's very original; who would have ever imagined that an ad selling a phone that plays music could gross you out?
 

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